Month Upon Month

As October comes to an end,
I doubt myself
My actions have meaning
Yet they build things which fade.
As November comes to a completion,
I find fear with myself.
I keep trying, grasping at fading fog
Action after action, meaningless
I see people who I onced held dear,
stepping past me.
Someone who I hold ever so dear,
begins to sink through the very soil before me.
I sit…watching, staring, at my feet.
December is now here
And I hate myself
What else would I expectThe Cycle comes to a close
Readying to repeat.
My eyes begin to flutter
As I drift off to sleep,
and all I can think about
Is the fear that I might repeat…